fear of choices and alternate lives

fear that life is a tad frayed now.
the knots in my past that hold
each string of events I've lived through
are slowly unraveling with each
worn weary day that passes.

the bold youthful tapestry that was...
is now a bit more pale.
the greyness of mundane life and of hair,
bits of tackiness, paper and soil
cling to what's left of this decaying classical ideal.

hope that future twine added
will not detract, nor mutate that which is left.
perhaps, I will find the future seeked
but it will be elsewhere, no not here,
here is where dreams yield to truth.